Good Friends

The meaning of friendship

by Lynn Whitehead (revised, originally published in 2008)

Suitable for Key Stage 3

Aims

To explore what it means to be a good friend.

Preparation and materials

• You will need five volunteers. Each volunteer will need a set of three cards: one with ‘A’ written on it, one with ‘B’ and one with ‘C’. The volunteers should hold up the relevant card to indicate their answers to questions that you will ask in the ‘Assembly’, Step 2.

Assembly

1. Invite the volunteers to come forward and give each of them a set of pre-prepared cards.
   
   Explain that you are going to ask the volunteers a series of questions about friendship. They will give their answers by holding up the card with the letter relating to their chosen answer.
   
   Point out that the quiz is just a bit of fun, so we don’t need to take the answers too seriously!
   
   
2. Invite the students in the audience to think about the answers that they would give to the questions that you are about to ask.
   
   Now ask the following questions.
   
   - You hear a member of your class saying insulting things about your best friend. Do you:
   A. Tell the person to stop being horrible and walk away.
   B. Join in with the laughter and say nothing to your friend.
   C. Tell your best friend everything that the person said. You provide the information in huge detail, even though you know that your friend will feel bad hearing these things - you love to have a bit of a gossip.
   
   - Your friend has fallen out with another member of the class. Do you:
   A. Try to encourage them to get along.
   B. Say nothing - it’s none of your business.
   C. Do everything you can to encourage them to argue - you love a good argument.
   
   - Your best friend is in trouble with a teacher for something that you did. Do you:
   A. Own up to the teacher and take your punishment.
   B. Let your friend take the blame - that’s what friends are for.
   C. Tell everyone that it was your friend who did it - you have no problem telling lies if it avoids you getting into trouble.
   
   - Your friend has started attending a new club at school and you’re seeing less of each other. Do you:
   A. Encourage your friend with their new interest - if they’re happy, you’re happy.
   B. Find new people to spend time with - there are plenty more fish in the sea.
   C. Make lots of horrible comments about the club that they’ve chosen with the aim of persuading them to give it up.
   
   - You hear that there is a plan to beat up your best friend after school. Do you:
   A. Go to see a teacher so that they can speak with the people who are making the threats and sort out the problem.
   B. Tell your friend in gory detail exactly what is going to happen and let them worry non-stop for the rest of the day.
   C. Say nothing - you’ve had a boring day at school, so watching a fight on the way home might be good fun.
   
   
3. Ask the students to work out which letter they chose for most of the questions, and then read out the following scoring system. Make it clear that the quiz is just for fun; the answers are not a hard-and-fast way of indicating what type of friend they are!
   
   - Mostly As: you’re a true friend. You have the courage to stick up for others and are loyal and understanding. You will always be thought of as a good friend.
   - Mostly Bs: you’re a friend, but not a good one. You don’t think of others’ feelings; your friends are simply people to hang around with, and they can easily be replaced.
   - Mostly Cs: you’re a poor friend. You think only of your own image and popularity.
   
   
4. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible has a lot to say about friendship. Here are just four examples of the advice given.
   
   Optional: you may wish to ask the students to discuss each quotation and what they think it means.
   
   - Friends always show their love. What are they for if not to share trouble? (Proverbs 17.17)
   - Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships. (Proverbs 16.28)
   - Friends mean well even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder – watch out! (Proverbs 27.6)
   - Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers. (Proverbs 18.24)
   
   
5. Finish by asking the students, ‘With all that in mind, what kind of friend are you?’

Time for reflection

Muhammad Ali once said, ‘Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.’

Pause to allow time for thought.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you for friends.
Help us to be good friends: loyal, honest, dependable and true.
Help us to think about the needs and feelings of others.
Amen.

Song/music

‘That’s what friends are for’ by Dionne Warwick, available at: https://youtu.be/HyTpu6BmE88 (4.31 minutes long)

‘You’ve got a friend in me’ from the film Toy Story, available at: https://youtu.be/0hG-2tQtdlE (2.04 minutes long)