Too Much Worrying

What does worry achieve?

by Helen Lycitt (revised, originally published in 2005)

Suitable for Whole School (Sec)

Aims

To consider the causes of, and solutions to, worry.

Preparation and materials

• You will need to be familiar with the Bible story in Luke 10.38-42, which is about Jesus visiting the home of Mary and Martha. You can read the Bible passage (available at: https://tinyurl.com/bdry4saj), use the version of the story in the ‘Assembly’, Step 6, or retell the story in your own words.

Assembly

1. Ask the students, ‘Have any of you ever felt worried or stressed?’
   
   Pause to allow time for thought.
   
   Explain that at some point, all of us feel these emotions. Worry and stress affect people in different ways. Some people may become angry and aggressive; others may find it hard to sleep. Some people may eat more or less than they need or eat unhealthy foods; others may spend a long time on computer games or become quiet and stop talking to other people. Just as people are affected by worry and stress in different ways, they also have different ways of coping with it.
   
   
2. Ask the students, ‘Can anyone think of any factors that might cause stress in young people?’
   
   If possible, allow discussion in pairs or small groups, and then listen to a range of responses.
   
   
3. Explain that you are going to read out a list that you compiled before the assembly.
   
   Ask the students to listen to see whether their suggestions appear in the list, and to think about which stresses apply to them.
   
   – Falling out with friends.
   – Being teased too much.
   – Too much schoolwork or homework.
   – Exams.
   – Pressure to do well at school.
   – Bullying.
   – Friends and relationships.
   – Fitting in with friends and peer pressure.
   – Deciding what to do when you leave school.
   – Arguments at home.
   – Low self-esteem and confidence.
   
   Reiterate that everyone is affected by different stresses. Something that affects one person might not affect someone else at all. We are all different and things affect us in different ways.
   
   
4. Ask the students, ‘What do you think you should do if you feel stressed?’
   
   Point out that one of the best ways to deal with stress is to talk with someone about it - perhaps a friend, parent or teacher. As the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved.
   
   However, it might help to realize that we are not alone when we worry about things. Statistics suggest that millions of students are affected by school-related stress.
   
   Worries can include not performing well enough in school, bullying from other students, relationships with friends, the future and concerns about self-image, drugs and alcohol.
   
   
5. Many parents admit to feeling worried about their children too.
   
   Parents’ main worries can include their children’s behaviour and how they should be disciplining them, having enough money to support them, how peer pressure and bullying affect their children, their children’s self-esteem and their exposure to drugs and alcohol.
   
   
6. Stress and worry are part of almost everyone’s lives today, but this situation is not new. Some 2,000 years ago, people’s lives were also full of worries. In the Bible, Luke tells a valuable story about how Jesus helped a worrier when he visited the home of Mary and Martha (Luke 10.38-42).
   
   The Story of Mary and Martha
   
   Jesus and his disciples were on their travels when they stopped for a visit at Martha’s invitation.
   
   Caring for the needs of the group was no small task. Martha busied herself in the kitchen with all the preparations while her sister, Mary, sat at Jesus’ feet.
   
   Things weren’t coming together for Martha. All that work - and she wanted everything to be perfect. She felt frustrated and helpless. She glanced into the living room, hoping that Mary would come to help her, but Mary was fascinated by the words of Jesus and showed no signs of moving.
   
   Finally, Martha could stand it no longer. She marched into the living room and demanded, ‘Jesus, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?’ Then, she gave Jesus an order: ‘Tell her to help me.’
   
   Jesus responded in two ways. First, he made Martha aware of her worry by saying, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.’ There was real concern in his voice as he repeated her name. He helped her to see that she had a problem to be dealt with. Jesus didn’t judge Martha - there’s nothing wrong with wanting guests to be comfortable - he just drew her attention to her worry.
   
   Second, Jesus showed her that worry is a choice. Martha had chosen to become filled with anxiety about the preparations. Again, Jesus didn’t condemn Martha for the choice that she’d made. Instead, he pointed out that Mary had made a choice too and in Mary’s case, it was a better one!
   
   
7. Martha learned a valuable lesson from Jesus. There are times when we all worry about things that really don’t matter that much. Sometimes, we choose to worry rather than stop to look at situations clearly and logically.
   
   
8. In the Bible, Jesus talks about worrying. In Matthew 6.25 and 6.27-29, the following famous words are recorded: ‘Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear . . .  Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.’

Time for reflection

Read the following quotations, giving the students time to think about each one.

Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe. (Mark Twain)

Pause to allow time for thought.

Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but never gets you anywhere. (Erma Bombeck)

Pause to allow time for thought.

Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop. (Wanda E. Brunstetter)

Pause to allow time for thought.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. (Corrie Ten Boom)

Pause to allow time for thought.

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. (Swedish proverb)

Pause to allow time for thought.

Prayer
Dear God,
When we feel that no one is listening, grant us a sympathetic ear.
Whenever we feel worried, grant us soothing words.
Whenever we suffer from stress, grant us peace.
Please help us to realize that you are with us in every situation.
Amen.

Song/music

‘Don’t worry, be happy’ by Bobby McFerrin, available at: https://youtu.be/d-diB65scQU (3.51 minutes long)