All That Gossip

If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all

by Philippa Rae

Suitable for Whole School (Sec)

Aims

To explore the impact of talking about people behind their backs.

Preparation and materials

• Optional: you may wish to use this assembly to coincide with a focus on bullying, supplying advice on how to overcome it.
• Optional: you may wish to play a game of Chinese whispers in the ‘Assembly’, Step 3.

Assembly

1. There is an old saying: ‘If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.’
   
   In reality, we can’t expect to be able to do this all the time; it would be neither practical nor justified.
   
   
2. Let’s consider this idea in the context of talking with our friends. We all love a good gossip, don’t we? Usually, it’s harmless, casual chit-chat. Sometimes, the information might be useful when we give it out of concern for others, such as, ‘Did you know that Sarah’s dad is ill?’
   
   Being the first to tell people something is not always useful or a harmless bit of fun, though. It might be great to revel in a few minutes of group attention, but before we realize it, gossip can cross the boundary and become a subtle form of bullying. This is especially true when a group of people are singling out one person.
   
   
3. Optional: play a game of Chinese whispers. Whisper a message to the first student in a line of students and see how distorted the message has become after it has been passed all the way to the end!
   
   This game shows on a small scale how gossip can be spread so easily. The person being gossiped about is made to feel uncomfortable by being teased and embarrassed.
   
   
4. Let’s think about some reasons for not gossiping. Gossip is unkind and mean. At worst, it can ruin a good person’s reputation and pass on information that is untrue or distorted because it is out of context and without knowledge of all of the facts. Next time someone tells us something, we need to stop and think before we pass it on.
   
   
5. Ask the students, ‘Have you ever broken a confidence, even accidentally, or passed on second-hand information that someone else has told you?’
   
   We might feel a bit bad if we have done this. However, we can learn from our mistakes and make sure that we don’t repeat the action.

Time for reflection

Next time we talk about someone, maybe we could consider the following questions.

- How would we feel if someone broke a confidence that we had told them?

Pause to allow time for thought.

- If someone is our friend, and we like and respect that person, why would we want to hurt them? Have we considered the pain that we might cause?

Pause to allow time for thought.

- What does it say about us, if we gossip about a person and still remain friends with them?

Pause to allow time for thought.

- What does anyone actually get out of gossip?

Pause to allow time for thought.

- Would we be strong enough to confront rumours about our friends, or would we join in?

Pause to allow time for thought.

After all, it’s a double whammy that is akin to cheating, having a so-called friend who is also telling tales about you behind your back.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
Please give us the strength of mind and compassion of heart to think about others before we speak.
Even if we don’t like the person or are no longer friends, help us to be fair and remind ourselves of the good things that we can say.
Amen.

Song/music

‘Getting on with life’ by Philippa Hanna, available at: https://youtu.be/IOv5yhxJ1I0 (4.14 minutes long)