You’ve Got a Friend in Me
How to be a great friend
by Hannah Taylor
Suitable for Whole School (Sec)
Aims
To consider the key elements of friendship and encourage us to put them into practice.
Preparation and materials
- None required.
Assembly
- Friends are people with whom we share a bond of mutual affection. We may also share some common beliefs and values with them. Friends can be in person or online, our next-door neighbour, a friend who lives 1,000 miles away or a furry animal. Often, a friend is someone we trust or enjoy being around.
- We can make friends anywhere, any time - whether we are 12 years old or 100 years old. If we ask our parents and teachers, they will have some stories about how they first met their partners or closest friends.
- Ask the students, ‘Why is friendship important?’
Encourage them to give examples of how friendship can be demonstrated. For example, talking to a friend when we have something on our minds is important for our mental well-being.
Encourage the students to discuss their answers with a partner or in small groups if appropriate. - Having a community is important, but in this age of social media, we can often feel pressured to have lots of friends. Let’s try to resist this pressure. It’s more important to have close connections with a few people than have many superficial online followers, especially if we do not know them or trust them. We always need to be careful when talking to people online.
- Let’s try this mini-quiz, which will help us to think about friendship.
Think about one of your friends and then answer these questions.
- Do you consider them to be a good friend?
- Do they make you feel good about yourself?
- Do you share values, beliefs or interests?
- Do you trust them and enjoy being in their company?
- Would they help you if you needed them?
If you answered yes for most of these questions, the person in question sounds like they deserve to be your friend. - As well as having good friends, it’s also important to be a good friend. Here are some pointers to help us to become better friends.
- Use words to make your friends feel good. Good friends say nice things to each other and make each other feel good. Do we need to remind our friends that they are amazing?
- Love the differences. Our friends will not have all the same interests or hobbies as we do. However, if our friends have different interests, we can still encourage and support each other. Being different is a gift!
- Be a good listener. We must make sure that we listen to our friends rather than interrupting them. That might mean turning off our phones every now and then . . .
- Support them. When our friends feel down or troubled, the best thing that we can do is try to help them feel better. Laughter can be the best medicine.
- Be a trustworthy friend. Good friends are not judgmental, and they keep private information to themselves - no matter how tempting it may be to share it!
- Be respectful. Perhaps we have said something that has upset our friends or maybe they have done something that has upset us. Close friends can talk about difficulties and forgive so that their friendship grows.
- Spend time together. By giving our time to our friends, we show them that we want them to be a part of our lives. Imagine a friend walking off while we were talking to them. We would think that was really rude!
- Now let’s explore some things that are bad for friendships. Here are some of the big don’ts.
- Never put people down. Criticizing our friends can cause upset and lower their self-esteem, which can lead to a lack of confidence.
- Don’t talk behind their back. This can cause distrust in our friendships and may make people feel like they can’t confide in us any more.
- Don’t compare successes. We all have our skills; it’s important to be proud of our friends when they’re successful, rather than being resentful and jealous.
- Don’t make it all about you. Good friends must make the time to listen to each other.
- Don’t try to change them. We should focus on the good attributes that our friends have and learn to accept our differences. It’s okay to be like chalk and cheese!
Time for reflection
Let’s take the time to think about what we can do to improve our friendships.
Let’s pause to think about our friends. What can we do to let them know how special they are?
Pause to allow time for thought.
What can we do to encourage friendship in school?
Pause to allow time for thought.
Maybe we could be more accepting of others, encouraging others to join in our friendship groups or organising more school clubs and activities.
Finally, let’s think about what we can work on so that we become a better friend to others.
Pause to allow time for thought.
Prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the people we call friends.
Thank you for the friends we will meet throughout our lives.
Please guide us so that we may be a good friend to others.
Amen.
Song/music
‘You’ve got a friend in me’ from the film Toy Story, covered by Chaz Mazzota, available at: https://youtu.be/mFOaA_OXS68 (2.44 minutes long)
