Everyone Needs Encouragement
The power of encouragement
by Helen Bryant (revised, originally published in 2014)
Suitable for Key Stage 3
Aims
To consider the idea of encouragement and how it gives us courage.
Preparation and materials
- None required.
Assembly
- Start with a guided fantasy.
Everyone, close your eyes and imagine the scene.
It’s sports day or a competition day and you are about to be in a race. Which race is up to you, but you know that your parents and friends have come to watch you, so you want to do your best.
Are you confident that you will win? Or are you dreading it because you know that you will come last and you’d much rather go and hide?
What thoughts are going through your head? Are you nervous? Are you confident?
On your marks, get set, GO!
Imagine the race: you’re flying, doing really well - or you’re just about managing to make your legs work a bit faster than they normally do. If you’re running well, maybe you’ve won, while those of you who are a bit slower are still coming down the track. Either way, you go to your parents and friends afterwards.
Imagine the conversation. Imagine that you won and someone says, ‘Your time wasn’t as good as last year,’ or ‘You failed to break the school record again.’ How do you feel?
Then, imagine that you were the slow one who probably came last, but someone says to you, ‘Good effort! I know you don’t find running easy, so well done for trying.’
Pause to allow time for thought.
- Which person do you think would feel more encouraged?
Listen to a range of responses.
The likelihood is that the person who was last in the race, but was told, ‘Well done for trying,’ will feel better than the one who was told, ‘Your time wasn’t good.’ - In today’s assembly, we are considering what the word ‘encouragement’ means.
The word is defined in the dictionary as ‘the action of giving someone support, confidence or hope’. It is the action of cheering someone up, uplifting them. By encouraging others, we are giving them courage. We are scaffolding others’ self-esteem and self-belief as people who can keep going and slog on. Marathon runners often say that it is the encouragement and cheers from the crowd that keep them going even when it’s hard. - By giving encouragement, we embolden and empower others to know that they are doing a good job, or that they are doing alright and their efforts are appreciated. Think how crushed that winner of the race we imagined would feel. Instead of being congratulated for doing a great job and for winning, there was no encouragement, no uplifting words, just the expectation that he or she should have done better.
- Everyone thrives on praise. Why is it, then, that, most of the time, the first thing we say is a negative word or a criticism?
If we include our own self-talk in this, we are probably our harshest critics. When we are given compliments, why so often do we simply shrug them off and find something negative to say about ourselves or our performance instead? Words of affirmation and encouragement are so important, both in the way that we speak to ourselves and in the way that we speak to others.
Time for reflection
So, our task for today and, if possible, tomorrow and the day after and the day after, on and on, is to talk nicely to ourselves, to encourage ourselves.
When we get a test result back and it’s a high grade, let’s not think, ‘I’m so rubbish, I should have got the top grade.’ Instead, let’s try to think of something positive. Remember, there may be someone sitting next to you who can’t get the grade you got, let alone the top grade.
Let’s also try to encourage our siblings, or even tell our parents what a good job they’re doing (even though it might not always feel like they are). I’m sure they’re probably being negative enough about themselves, so they don’t need us to be as well!
Let’s aim to encourage our friends. Let’s look for something that we like about them and tell them. Let’s look for something that they are good at and encourage them in that.
Let’s try to catch those negative thoughts before they cause us to spiral into a day of negativity.
If all else fails, let’s take a deep breath and focus on one good thing that we can see. It might be good in us, in a friend, even in a teacher! And let’s try to encourage that person in some way.
Song/music
‘Make me a channel of your peace’, available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnY7t1N1s2U (3.29 minutes long)
