What Makes Us Feel Hurt?
Hurting people hurt people
by Alexandra Palmer
Suitable for Key Stage 1/2
Aims
To consider why people who feel hurt might hurt others.
Preparation and materials
- You will need the PowerPoint slides that accompany this assembly (What Makes Us Feel Hurt?) and the means to display them.
- Have available the YouTube video ‘The prodigal son’ and the means to show it during the assembly. It is 4.42 minutes long and is available at: https://youtu.be/DJgROx4wFKM
- Optional: you may also wish to use the extension activity (What Makes Us Feel Hurt? - Extension Activity) that accompanies this assembly.
Assembly
- Show Slide 1.
Ask the children, ‘In what ways can we feel hurt?’
Pause to allow time for discussion, and then listen to a range of responses. - Show Slide 2.
Explain that we can feel hurt physically when we fall over, trap our finger between two chairs or twist our ankle.
Our emotions can be hurt when somebody says something hurtful or when we’re not allowed to play in a game.
We can feel hurt mentally if we haven’t had enough positive praise and have negative thoughts. For example, times when we think that things should have gone our way, but they haven’t; times when we think that others are being mean, but we’ve got the wrong idea; and times when we think that we don’t have any friends and feel unloved. - Tell the children that Jesus told a story to teach people about God’s love. We call it the Parable of the Prodigal Son: prodigal refers to someone who spends money unwisely. In the story, the three characters – the father and his two sons - all felt hurt at different times and in different ways.
Show the YouTube video ‘The prodigal son’ (4.42 minutes long). - Discuss the video by asking the questions on Slides 3-5. For each question, pause to allow time for discussion, and then listen to a range of responses.
Show Slide 3.
Ask the children, ‘Who was feeling hurt at the start of the story?’
- The younger son was feeling hurt emotionally and mentally because he felt stuck at home. He felt like he was missing out on life, so he wanted to leave.
- The elder son was feeling hurt emotionally because he felt cross with his brother for leaving, which meant that he would have more work to do on the land.
- The father was feeling hurt emotionally because his son had demanded his inheritance and had left home before he was mature enough. The father might have felt hurt mentally too, worrying that he might have done something wrong in bringing up his son. - Show Slide 4.
Ask the children, ‘Who was feeling hurt in the middle of the story?’
- The younger son was feeling hurt physically because he was hungry. He was feeling emotionally and mentally hurt too, because all of the people who had pretended to be his friends had left him after his money ran out.
- We don’t know how the father and his elder son felt at this moment, but they might have been emotionally upset because they didn’t know where the youngest son was or if he was safe. - Show Slide 5.
Ask the children, ‘Who was feeling hurt at the end of the story?’
- The younger son wasn’t feeling hurt: he was relieved because he had returned home and his father had forgiven him.
- The father may have felt hurt emotionally because his elder son was cross that he’d welcomed his younger brother home without setting any consequences. Like his younger son, the father must have felt happy and relieved that he had returned home. He showed this by throwing a party for his son.
- The elder son was feeling hurt emotionally because his father had welcomed his brother with open arms, even going so far as to throw a party for him. This led the elder son to feel angry and jealous: he wanted a party to be held in his own honour, to acknowledge all the extra work that he had done while his brother had been away.
Time for reflection
Ask the children why people who feel hurt might hurt others.
Listen to a range of responses.
Suggest that people who hurt others might be hungry for something.
Show Slide 6.
Explain that we can all be hungry for things other than food, such as being hungry for our feelings to be acknowledged and to receive praise.
- We might be hungry for friends, and feel jealous if our friends aren’t playing with us, or sad if we feel like they’re ignoring us.
- We might be hungry to join a club or take up a new hobby as we grow up and discover what interests us.
- Sometimes, we feel hungry for love from the people who look after us, or for praise from the people who teach us.
- When it’s our birthday or Christmastime, we might feel hungry for new toys or clothes because our friends have them, and we don’t.
- When things don’t go our way, we might feel angry, but we might also feel hungry for a decision to go our way next time.
Show Slide 7.
Read the quotation on the slide by Charlie Mackesy: ‘Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength, not weakness.’
Ask the children, ‘What does the quotation mean?’
Pause to allow time for discussion, and then listen to a range of responses.
To have good physical, emotional and mental health, it’s important to be able to say how we’re feeling. Crying shows that we can express our emotions rather than hiding them away. This takes inner strength.
Prayer
Dear God,
Thank you for our physical needs being met, through having somewhere to live and enough food and drink to stay healthy.
Thank you for our feelings and emotions, and that we know when we feel happy or sad.
Thank you for our thoughts, and for the people who look after us and love us.
Please help us to know when we have hurt somebody and to be willing to say sorry to them.
Amen.
Extension activity
- Give each child a copy of the sheet that accompanies this assembly (What Makes Us Feel Hurt? - Extension Activity). Ask them to draw or write about the different ways in which they can be a good friend.
