Silly Christmas poem

To provide something silly for Christmas – with a serious point about the meaning of the festival.

by Gordon and Ronni Lamont

Suitable for Whole School (Pri)

Aims

To provide something silly for Christmas – with a serious point about the meaning of the festival.

Preparation and materials

• The ‘Silly Christmas Poem’ is a performance poem and will need to be rehearsed in advance by good readers with a sense of timing. As written it is split into four parts, but these are interchangeable and expandable, as long as Four (the joker) is always the same person.

Assembly

Introduce the ‘Silly Christmas Poem’ and invite everyone to sit back and enjoy.

One      Christmas
Two      Time
Three   Mistletoe
Four     And wine

One      Glitter
Two      Snow
Three   Presents
Four     D’oh

All         D’oh?
Four     The Simpsons Christmas Special
All         Oh . . .
Four     No, D’oh!
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Stars
Two      Trees
Three   Decorations
Four     Ye’s

All         Ye’s?
Four     O come all ye faithful, Ye three kings, Ye wish you a merry . . .
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Christmas
Two      Time
Three   Mistletoe
Four     And whine-ing

All         Whining?
Four     (whines) Oh, why didn’t I get that? . . . It’s not fair . . . Mum, Mum, why
             can’t I get up yet? . . .
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Shepherds
Two      Angels
Three   Bright new star
Four     Visitors

One      Camels
Two      Gifts from afar
Four     Gifts for the car

All         Gifts for the car?
Four     Aunt Mabel always buys Dad a sponge and some car shampoo.
             He must have twenty unopened Super Car Cleaner gift boxes. He even . . .
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Partying
Two      Carolling
Three   Crackering
Four     Ding a ling

One      Laughter
Two      And frolicking
Three   Wallace
Four     And Gromiting

One      Christmas pudding
Two      Christmas cake
Three   Christmas turkey
Four     Christmas holly and tofu spicy vegetarian bake . . . It’s for Aunt Mabel . . .
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Baby
Two      In stable
Three   New life
Four     Aunt Mabel

All         Aunt Mabel?
Four      Er, it’s rhyming slang.
             Aunt Mabel,
             new table,
             one leg’s higher,
             welcome Messiah!
All         Thank you, we get the idea.

One      Baby
Two      So small
Three   New life
Four     For all

One      Live life
Two      To the full
All         Even Aunt Mabel.

Time for reflection

Prayer
Dear God,
thank you for fun,
for getting together with friends and family,
for presents and games and things to eat and drink.
Thank you that you want us to celebrate
and have fun at Christmas time.
Thank you that we’re all invited to the party.
Amen.

Song/music

(Sung to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’)

Christmas bells

All is well

We’re all having fun.

Games and jokes and things to eat

Joy to everyone.

Oh, Christmas bells
All is well
We’re all having fun.
It’s party time for the new-born babe
And everyone’s welcome.