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How can we fix it?

To consider the importance of reconciliation in human relationships (SEAL theme 2: Getting on and falling out).

by The Revd Sophie Jelley

Suitable for Key Stage 2


To consider the importance of reconciliation in human relationships (SEAL theme 2: Getting on and falling out).

Preparation and materials

  • A simple quiz with a few questions with answers a, b or c (as in a magazine) relevant to your context. You could organize this so three children take part and answer the questions.


  1. I wonder if you have ever fallen out with someone in your life. Maybe with someone in your family or one of your friends. Maybe it was someone you knew very well, or perhaps someone you didn’t know well at all. I wonder how you felt.

    When that happens, do you find it easy to make friends again or is that something you find quite hard?
  2. I have a quiz for you.

    (i)    You went out to school and when you came back you found that your mum had tidied your bedroom and had thrown away a special letter from your friend that you’d wanted to keep. You let her know that you are pretty cross about this. Later on your mum calls you for dinner. Do you . . .

    a.  Refuse to come out of your room: you don’t want to see her at all?
    b.  Reluctantly slope downstairs, because, after all, people have got to eat?
    c.  Say, ‘Thanks, Mum, I’m really hungry and I’m sorry for shouting earlier’?

    (ii)   You hear someone say something unkind about you and notice that your friend doesn’t stand up for you. Your friend comes running after you to explain. Do you . . .

    a.  Tell your friend to get lost?
    b.  Wait and let your friend at least try to explain?
    c.  Say, ‘It’s okay. I know it was just that boy being mean and not you’?

    (iii)  Your sister has borrowed your favourite CD and has given it back all scratched. She offers to buy another one when she gets her pocket money. Do you . . .

    a.  Tell her she’s a horrible sister and that’s the last time you will ever lend her anything!?
    b.  Refuse to speak to her but make it clear that you are unhappy with the situation?
    c.  Accept her offer and say, ‘Thanks very much, I know that you didn’t do it on purpose’?

    Ask for feedback about who was mostly a, b or c. (Don’t forget the teachers and teaching assistants!) Explain that we all have lots to learn about what to do when we fall out with people.
  3. When someone hurts us and we feel angry, it can be really hard to put things right again. Our friendship can feel a bit like a broken bottle that’s smashed into lots of little pieces and we can’t even begin to imagine how to fix it.

    Christians believe that God fixes broken relationships between people and that he can help us to do the same. He says that we are not to lose heart and give up. He tells us that he is a God who brings about ‘reconciliation’. That means that we can ask his help to put things right again.

    Next time we fall out we can remember that broken relationships can be mended – they don’t have to stay that way.

Time for reflection

Think for a moment about how it feels when you have to say sorry to someone.

Now think about how it feels when someone says sorry to you.

Remember that feeling today.

Lord Jesus, thank you that when we fall out with someone
you can help us fix it and put it right.
Please help us to be able to say sorry when we have done wrong
and to accept other people’s sorry when they have hurt us.


‘When a knight won his spurs’ (Come and Praise, 50)

Publication date: November 2011   (Vol.13 No.11)    Published by SPCK, London, UK.
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